Kentucky Died Chicken
by Pink Pal
Summary: When Mario rescues Princess Peach from the notorious clutches of Bowser one evening, he invites the royal beauty to celebrate, by having a meal out with him at...KFC! Despite her general loathing of the fast food restaurant, Peach still agrees to go along with her hero. Little do the two know, that someone is out for an unexpected revenge... Mareach


**Thanks the help of my extremely talented BETA: musicalocelot, this story has been completed with no errors! Please make certain you read her awesome stories!**

Princess Peach, the beloved ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom, whipped her protracted, luminous blonde hair behind her miniscule ears, where an awash pair of aqua-coloured ball earrings hung off her streched ear lobes. As her ocean-blue eyes fluttered as if they were a magnificent pair of gracious butterfly wings, her pursed, salmon lips curved in to a sweet smile.

She was seated upon a timid, bleached chair set on her spacious balcony, viewing the setting sun breaking into dainty skies of flush; it looked undoubtably stunning. Peach hummed soundly to herself. It was not long before a few blue tits swooped down to join her in perfect harmony.

Suddenly, each of the chirping birds cascaded away in surprise, as a green and white spotted Toad servant scurried on to the balcony. Peach twisted round in her chair to face the panting heavily toad, her face plastered in concern.

"Goodness gracious me, Toad! Are you quite alright?" quizzed Peach. The Toad hastily shook his head; he looked as though he had just witnessed a murder take place before his eyes.

"I am ever so sorry to disturb you, Princess Peach…but Bowser has just turned up at the palace door! He claims he wishes to seek an audience with you! What shall I do? Should I tell the other Toads to lead him away? Should I tell him you are out at the moment? Oh my gosh, what shall I do?" squealed the Toad, clutching his head as he felt it spin around in repetitive circles.

Peach got to her feet and patted the Toad on his back, like he had just been coughing uncontrollably. "Remember to breathe, Toad! Okay, well if he would like to speak with me, then I will go and see what he wants. Let him in, please!" instructed Peach, checking her floaty, roseate dress was in perfect shape.

Without a second of hesitation, the Toad nodded his bulging head in response, and waddled as quickly as his paltry feet could go. Altering her expression to a serious one, Peach gradually made her way off the balcony, through the double glass doors, and towards the extremely steep staircase.

Stomping threatingly in to the palace hall, his colossal feet sending ear-piercing echoes off the peach-painted walls as they collided with the snow marble floor, Bowser entered Peach's palace, his amber eyes carefully scanning each detail. He turned to glare down at several trembling Toads standing closeby, knocking over a blue and white spotted toad with his voluminous, verdant shell as he spun round.

"Well?" he asked, "You gonna ask me what I want, or are ya just gonna stand there with your mouths open?"

A female pink and white spotted Toad cautiously stepped forwards. "Um…want a cupcake?" she asked. The other Toads slapped their heads in disbelief.

"Good evening, Bowser!" greeted a light-as-a-feather voice from the top of the towering staircase. Peering suspiciously upwards, Bowser breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Peach steadily tottering down the stairs in her teal high heels.

"FINALLY! I want to talk to ya in private, so can ya tell ya annoying Toad friends here to get lost!" requested Bowser, impatiently.

"In a nicer way…yes!" responded Peach, signalling the Toads away, who did not waste a single second to dissapear in to the dining room.

"What is the matter, Bowser?" asked Peach, approaching the bottom of the stairs, and gradually making her way towards the blood curdling Koopa King, who was baring his razor-sharp fangs directly at her.

"Ah, just a little…unfinished buisness. Ya see princess, the reason why I constantly 'kidnap' ya, is because I want ya to marry me, since I lost my other wife when my son was born, as ya already know. So, I'll make ya a deal…come with me to my castle, and marry me! In return, I'll leave ya precious Toads and ya adorable, little kingdom all alone, you have my word!" offered Bowser. Peach frowned; she could never leave her kingdom without a monarch and marry someone as evil as Bowser!

"But, who will look after my kingdom while I am away? I cannot leave it with no ruler!" breathed Peach. Bowser grumbled deeply.

"Ask that fat moron Mario to take charge, I don't know! Ask somebody! Now, about the offer before I lose my patience, will ya come away with me and be my queen?" questioned Bowser.

Desperately racking her brain, Peach tried to place all of the positives and negatives of the offer to a concluding answer, but she could not make up her mind. Stay and allow Bowser to distinguish the entire kingdom, or leave the kingdom in someone else's hands, and spend the rest of her life living under the guard of a nefarious king, and leave Mario…

Peach collapsed on to her knees, weeping bitterly into her white-gloved fingers. Bowser rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"I just don't know!" cried Peach in devastation. All of the Toads, who had spent the previous few minutes doing what they did best: cowering in the dining room, peeked anxiously out from the side of the barely open door. They started to panic once they realised that their beautiful princess was in floods of tears, but they made certain it was done quitely so that Bowser would not hear them.

Leaning down towards the gasping Peach, Bowser soon received the largest shock of his life, when something solid thrashed in to the back of his rock-hard skull! It sent him soaring across the room, where he landed ontop of a snoozing tabby cat nearby…and literally flattened it.

"What in the name of-" bawled Bowser, but when he noticed his unexpected attacker, he froze in horror…it was Mario.

Although Mario was an awful lot shorter and less muscular than Bowser was, the Koopa King still had every reason to fear him; it had always been Mario who had foiled his magnificent ploys for world domination, and who had been the one obsticle baracading his path between himself and Princess Peach. How Bowser despised the moustached plumber.

"Mario!" quipped Peach in delight, as the two embraced in a warmly welcoming hug.

"Peach was upset by Bowser! Is Peach okay?" fretted Mario, as the two broke apart from their hug. Grinning from ear to ear, Peach gave a confident nod, to which Mario breathed a dramatic sigh of relief.

"Yes, thank you Mario! Peach is fine now that you are here!" affirmed Peach.

"What the heck are you doing here Mario, interrupting our PRIVATE conversation? Ya not welcome here! Now, scram, fat man!" wailed Bowser, squeezing his sizeable hands into tightly clenched fists. Instantly, Mario shifted into a fighting stance.

"No way! Bowser upset Peach, so Bowser must pay!" he spat. Roaring with hair-standing laughter, Bowser smashed his foot against the ground, sending unbelivabily power-packed vibrations across the entire floor.

Screaming, Peach toppled over, only to be caught in an unsteady Mario's arms centimeters from the ground. Narrowing his eyes over at the fleeing-from-the-dining-room Toads, Mario muttered, "Useless Mushroom heads!"

"Come on then, Mario! I'm waiting, so are ya gonna man up and fight me, or chicken out like those cowardly Toads?" taunted Bowser, knowing full well what Mario would do.

Positioning Peach, so she was standing upright at a reasonably safe distance from him and his arch-nemesis, Mario charged headfirst at a pumped up Bowser, who also hurtled towards him.

The second the two collided, there was a tremendous explosion of screams and thuds, as they were both sent zooming through the air to meet the walls at either side of the hall. Peach started to back away in fear.

Clambering to their feet, Mario and Bowser stood, glaring madly at eachother. Tension hung thick in the air. The Toads had suddenly reappeared, although they still remained hidden behind the dining room door, their teensy, tar eyes watering in terror.

Hastily racking his brains for a solution to dispose of Mario, Bowser rolled his whole, inflated body up in to his spikey, grass-coloured shell, and skidded inside it towards a horrified Mario.

Failing to see any other options, Mario simply sprang over the spiralling shell, landing neatly on both of his feet. However, the shell just rotated before it clashed into the wall, and dashed back up to him.

Noticing the light, Mario finally discovered the perfect method: since some of Bowser's body still showed through the top of the shell, Mario could leap over the shell once again, but this time, land on the part of Bowser's body sticking out!

Prepared to put the plan into action, Mario crouched down as low as he could as the shell approached, accelerating so quickly it was unreal. Jumping over Bowser's shell once more, Mario halted in midair above the shell where parts of Bowser's body were exposed, and dropped like a stone down on to them. Belching out screams of pain, Bowser unfurled out of his shell and cluched on to his throbbing stomach, kneeling down on the icy, marble floor.

"Mario won, now go Bowser!" warned Mario. Scrambling to his feet, Bowser glowered at Mario, his eyes ablaze with fury.

"Fine! I will go back to my castle, where I shall recover…so I'm ready for our next encounter! Believe me, Mario, I was merely warming up there! Next time, I have a few shocking tricks up my sleeve, and I guarantee you that they will scar you for life!" avowed Bowser, taking one last annoyed glance over at a shaking Peach, before limping steadily out of the palace.

Cheering victoriously, all of the Toads swarmed out of the dining room and raised a struggling Mario high above their bulging heads, chanting, "Mario is our hero! Mario is our hero! We have nothing to fear as long as Mario is here! OY! Mario is our hero! Mario is our hero! We've noth-". "ENOUGH!"

The Toads froze in surprise, as Mario boomed out, his yells echoing in every corner of the room. Mario glared down at them, clearly looking as though he had had enough of their truly awful singing.

"Put Mario down, he loathes Toads' singing voices, he'd rather listen to a cat being strangled!" chortled Mario. A brown and white spotted Toad burst into tears.

"Don't say that! My cat sounds terrible when she's being strangled by my grumpy, old neighbour for peeing in his flower bed!" she piped. Mario shook his head in disbelief.

"It's a figure of speech…now can Mario be put down? TODAY?" asked Mario, impatiently. Immediately, he was placed back on his feet.

"Thank you."

Peach glided up to him and hugged him so tightly, all of the air was sent out of his lungs. "My hero, oh, my hero! Thank you, thank you so much, Mario! You have absolutely no idea how grateful I am for EVERYTHING you have done for me!" she sniffed.

Mario choked in desparation for a breath of fresh air, and realizing that she was literally suffocating him, Peach released him and stepped back, blushing in embarressment. The two smiled friendly at eachother.

"You are most welcome!" replied Mario.

"Aww!" sighed the Toads. Peach shot them a death glare and they turned away, whistling soundly.

Starting to shuffle his feet nervously, Mario said, "U-U-Um…P-P-Peach?"

Peach looked down at him in concern. "Yes?" she prompted.

"Erm…well, I-I-I…I-I was woun-woundering…if-you'd-like-to…have a…um…have a meal-with-me?" requested Mario, sweating the worst he had ever sweat.

Raising her slick eyebrows in astonishment at his invitation, Peach answered, "Oh…well, I-I-I…um, I would love to!"

Mario felt his stomach flip upside down, he simply could not believe that Princess Peach had actually agreed to go out and have a meal with him…surely it must be his lucky day! He felt on top of the world!

"So…where would we go?" beamed Peach. Mario grinned at her; he knew the perfect restaurant to take Peach for a meal to!

"KFC!" announced Mario. Some of the Toads fainted, and a sweat drop formed on Peach's forehead.

"K-K-KFC?" she spluttered, a look of horror sparking off her beautiful face.

"Of course! It's the best restaurant EVER! You can't deny it! When shall we go? In an hour's time? That should give Mario enough time to get ready, and you too!" speculated Mario.

Peach felt rather awkward; she did not want to go to KFC, with all of the super-spicey chicken and greasy chips they sold, although she did not want to hurt Mario's feelings. Therefore, she nodded in agreement.

"GREAT! Mario will pick you up in an hour! See you!" he sang, dancing joyfully out of the palace.

"I thought you didn't like KFC?" pointed out the blue and white spotted Toad.

"I do not, but I could never refuse Mario's invitation, or it would hurt his feelings! Now, please inform the chef and his staff that there will be no need for cooking tonight, as I am having my tea elsewhere!" ordered Peach.

All of the Toads gave a confident nod each, and then sped off. Peach made her way up the stairs to get dolled-up for the meal. "This is going to be a long night!" she mumbled to herself.

Texting Daisy, as she stood stark naked in the middle of her locked bedroom, Peach thought she might as well seek advice from her best friend.

"Hi Daisy!"

"Hi!"

"Ud never guess wht!"

"Wht?"

"Mario askd me out 4 a meal!"

"OMG really? Tht's gr8! Where r u going? Le Nibble? Ze Fine Food?"

"No, KFC!"

"…"

"Daisy? R u there?"

"Yh! As if he asked you out to KFC OMG LOOOL!"

"It can't be tht bad!"

"…"

"Stop wiv the semibreves!"

"…"

"DAISY!"

"Geez ok ok! Sori! Well hav fun on ur date! *slaps forehead*"

"Not sure if I will, don't really like KFC food. Infact d u think I shud go on this meal or ask 2 go somewhere else?"

"No way, if tht's wht Mario wants 2 do, don't stop him! Jus relax and pretend u like it, u don't hav 2 eat all the food, but make sure u eat some of it so he dunt feel guilty! Gtg now, hope u have a gud time, see u! xoxoxoxoxoxox"

"See u! xxxxxxxxx"

"Wow, Peach looks pretty!" remarked Mario. Peach was dressed in a lustrous, midnight dress with skin-tight, ebony leggings and glass high heels. Her hair was tied up in a neat bun, and thick eyeliner outlined her perfectly-sculptured eyes.

"You ready?" quizzed Mario, holding out his hand to the elegant princess, who smiled sweetly at him.

"You bet!"

Entering KFC, they found it loaded with romancing couples and blabbering families, with the staff darting around the room to serve all of the waiting impatiently customers.

After waiting in the lengthy que for what seemed like hours on end, Mario and Peach finally approached the service counter, where an older teenage girl with crimson hair, which curled beneath her pointed chin, and sharp, sky-blue eyes was waiting broodingly for them.

"Yes, how may I help you?" she groaned in a bored tone.

"Can we have the bargain bucket, please?" chortled Mario. The downcast girl nodded her head loosely, as if it was barely just balancing on her scrouchy neck. Mario payed the required price, and then he and Peach shifted up to the serving station.

Peach stuck her tongue out in revolt, as she watched a stout member of staff raise a bunch of chips out of a pan, which were dripping in streaming grease. Meanwhile, Mario continued to lick his lips, as the thought of the chicken melting in his mouth met his starving mind. Peach could not help but notice that all of the staff were rather short, and rather familiar looking…

Finally, the humongous bargain bucket was handed over to Mario, and the two took a seat at a two-person-table at the other side of the restaurant, which had just been deserted by a squabbling, middle-aged couple.

Peach could not believe the size of the bargain bucket…it was HUGE! Tucking in to the blazing chicken in under a second flat, Mario started to guzzle down the contents of the bargain bucket and slurp through his pepsi drink, while Peach only ever took practically silent nibbles and sips.

"Don't you think this is delicious?" proclaimed Mario, ripping a bit of the crusty skin off the chicken wing in his hand with his teeth. Peach gulped.

"Yes…o-of course!" she said, unsurely. Mario was too occupied in the chicken wing to notice the uncertainty in her voice.

Removing a petty portion of chicken from her wing with her teeth, Peach steadily chewed on its scorching spice and sickly juiciness; she pretended to enjoy tasting it, even though her mouth was practically on fire.

Unanticipatedly, a large section of the roof above the service counter was suddenly smashed through, the blood-haired teenage girl ran screaming from the restaurant. Awe-struck, Mario and Peach gasped in stupefaction as Bowser dropped through the hole in the ceiling, scanning around all of the stunned customers, until his eyes fell on the gaping Mario and Peach.

"Aha! At last, I've got ya now!" cackled Bowser, stomping towards them.

"How did Bowser know Mario and Peach were at KFC?" cried Mario.

"Obviously because I stayed outside the palace door after I stormed out earlier, and used my superb hearing to listen to your little conversation! Now, I believe ya have something…or should I say, someone, who belongs to me, Mario! So I suggest you'd hand her over this minute, seeing as you're now too weak to anything!" sneered Bowser, smirking slyly.

"No! Mario won't let Bowser kidnap Peach!" objected Mario, clambering to his feet to face off against Bowser again. However, when he did stand, he gasped as he felt a wave of exhaustion hit him, forcing him to sit back down. "W-W…w-what's wrong with me?"

Bowser chuckled dangerously. "Confused are we, my pathetic plumber? Well, you see, I instructed my minions to dose both of your drinks with some sleeping pills! You should be fast asleep and having sweet dreams in…oo, three minutes?" he revealed.

Mario could not believe it. "W-W-What?" he squeaked.

Just then, all of the members of staff came over, and removed their faces, (which were actually masks) and clothes to reveal all seven of Bowser's hideous minions: Larry Koopa, Morton Koopa Junior, Wendy O Koopa, Iggy Koopa, Roy Koopa, Lemmy Koopa, and Ludwig Von Koopa.

Peach's pupils shrunk; she knew they were after her. Bowser patted a hyper-active Iggy Koopa on the back, who was bouncing on the spot from seeing the chicken which Mario and Peach were eating.

"Well done, my minions! I knew you'd never fail me!" remarked Bowser, proudly. Wendy O Koopa scoffed and spun away with her nose high in the air. Ludwig Von Koopa stepped forward.

"Well, it was nothing, sire!" he beamed, looking smug. Bowser chuckled deeply.

"Seize the princess, she's coming with us!" demanded Bowser. Sniggering, the minions trudged towards a shaking Peach. Mario felt helpless to defend her, as darkness clawed at the edges of his vision.

Thankfully, an elderly lady with bushy, grey hair and cloudy-blue eyes, from somewhere in the restaurant, creeped up on the youthful Koopas from behind and used her bag to smack Larry Koopa round the back of his head, knocking him clean out.

Roy Koopa grabbed on to her wrinkled wrist, but she simply flung him over her shoulder in to the table behind her, causing the couple sitting at it to faint. Bowser was gobsmacked. Who was this lady and how on earth was she doing this at her age?

Fuming, Lemmy Koopa leapt on top of the woman's head, stamping his tiny feet down on it. With little effort, the woman shook him off, and tossed him like a boomerang at Morton Koopa, who was sent whirling through the air in to a window as a result.

Fearing what the unlikely female ninja would do to them, Wendy O Koopa, Iggy Koopa, Roy Koopa, and Ludwig Von Koopa, turned and ran for their lives out of the building, closely followed by a dazed Lenny and Lemmy Koopa.

"Hey! Where are y'all going? COWARDS!" screeched Bowser, although he himself looked rather nervous.

Smashing his foot down and creating mighty vibrations, which toppled tables over and made people collapse and wriggle like beetles on their backs, Bowser attempted to finish the old woman off himself.

Unfortunately for him, his efforts seemed futile as she just sprang up in to the air and kicked him in the face. Seering in pain, Bowser realized that Peach was close to him, so he reached out to snatch her away.

Mario noticed that Bowser was trying to grab an almost asleep Peach, so he used the last of his remaining strength to slap Bowser's arm away from reach, with the old woman punching Bowser in the stomach and knocking him out to top it off.

The whole restaurant erupted with cheers and claps of victory, but Mario and Peach had already fallen fast asleep, so the old woman threatened to beat the living daylight out of everyone if they did not shut up.

Snapping her cocked-up eyes open, Peach found herself lying quite comfortably on her own bed in her own bedroom. Deeply puzzled as to what had currently happened to her, she slinked out of her cosy quilt and stumbled out of the door, to be met by several Toads' glowing faces.

"Good morning, Princess Peach!" they sang, merrily. Peach yawned and stretched her arms out, flinching as she heard her elbows crack.

"Morning Toads…what happened to me? I feel so very light-headed!" she whimpered. A black and white spotted Toad scratched his head.

"You don't remember a thing? Oh, well, you and Mario were having a meal last night at KFC, until Bowser and his minions showed up and tried to kidnap you. But then, this mysterious, old lady popped up and rescued you, and you fell asleep from the sleeping pills, which had been put in your drinks…that is what Mario told me anyway."

"Mario? Oh my, Mario! Where is he?" asked Peach, desperately.

"There is no need to fear for his safety, princess. Mario is at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for you!" notified the green and white spotted Toad.

Without hestitation, Princess Peach drifted down the stairs to find Mario waiting imaptiently with his foot tapping the marble flooring.

"Mario, oh Mario!" gasped Peach, as her and the latter hugged eachother lovingly.

"Peach is okay, thank goodness!" breathed Mario in relief.

"I forgot what happened, but then Toad reminded me…oh, do you know who on earth that lady was and where she is now?" quizzed Peach, sounding suspicious, as they separated from their cuddle. Mario shook his head.

"No idea. But whoever she was, we owe her our lives!" commented Mario. Peach nodded in agreement, smiling in delight.

"Thank you so much for everything you have done for me, Mario…I just do not know where I would be, or what I would do…without you!" complimented Peach.

Suddenly, a stern expression formed across Mario's face, and the heroic plumber knelt down on the floor. Peach was concerned why he had gained such a serious look and got down on his knees. "Mario?"

"Princess Peach…" began Mario, holding out a sterling ring covered in pure diamonds to her, "Will you marry me?"

Breathless and jubilant at his unexpected offer, Peach jumped for sheer joy and threw her arms around him, though she was confused as to why he was asking her such a complex proposal. Never-the-less, she was thrilled at this and would not ever let a rare opportunity as this just slip out of her fingers.

"YES!" she agreed, floods of tears streaming down her face, as a weeping with astoundment Mario slid the ring on to her spindly finger. Watching the scene and sobbing as well, the Toads applauded them.

Mario and Peach shared their first kiss that frost-bitten morning, and it was a memorable morning, which would surely change their lives for the better forever.

The old woman from the KFC catastrophe tip-toed up the lush, green grassy hills towards the rising, glittering sun. Her grey hair turned in to protracted, glossy blonde hair, and her blue eyes turned brighter. Rosalina smiled smoothly at the royal skies above. "Young love and happy endings…that is how every love story must, and WILL end."


End file.
